I have been trying to get back to my post-BBG body (I have an entire blog post dedicated to my BBG experience) for the past two years. I’ll be consistent for a few weeks, but eventually fall off. Two years ago I was in a different stage of my life though, and a lot has changed since then: I moved, I started PT school, and my anxiety reared its ugly head again (hello Prozac, thanks for skyrocketing my appetite!). This is probably the largest I have ever been (I have always been “skinny”), but these extra pounds also carry lots of memories.
Right before quarantine, I FINALLY figured out what I needed when it came to consistently exercising: a real community. I started doing Orange Theory Fitness (OTF) a few weeks before the stay-at-home orders began, and fell in love! I really enjoy working out with others, and OTF was the perfect environment for me. But like a lot of things, Miss. Rona just had to ruin that! I stayed consistent with the OTF at-home workouts for about a month, but I ended up falling off as usual. Working out alone in an empty room just isn’t the same y’all.
It’s okay that I’ve eaten more and exercised less. It’s okay that I won’t come out of quarantine with abs. It’s okay that I’ve spent countless hours watching TV and playing videogames. I am finally taking the time to really listen to my body, and give it what it needs. I want to incorporate intentional movement into my daily routine because I WANT to, not because I feel like I HAVE to to fit some silly societal norm. Here’s to wearing a sports bra on the internet and not pulling my leggings up to my sternum to hide my belly fat!
I know I’m not the only one who has struggled with exercising, eating healthy, and body image issues during quarantine. I visited family a few weeks ago (after not seeing them for a while), and the first thing they brought up was my weight. Comments like “you’ve gotten big!” and “you’ve been eating good huh” were thrown around like confetti. And to top it all off, a few of my family members even asked me if I was pregnant. I know they probably mean well, but their words still hurt. Let’s normalize not calling out people’s weight gain or weight loss. You never know what they are going through! I was finally getting to a point where I was starting to feel better about my body, and those comments have definitely set me back a bit.
So here’s an important reminder (because I really need it right now): your body is beautiful no matter its size. My body is worthy, no matter how many brownies I eat, how many post-lunch naps I take, and how many times I DON’T work out. I am beautiful: belly fat, love handles, thick thighs, and all…and so are you! Our post-quarantine bodies are still good and still enough. At the end of the day, we are so much more than our physical appearance.
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